Now Playing Tracks

malfoypure:

A muggleborn and pureblood couple having their first child and the pureblood not knowing about ultrasounds so they don’t understand why their partner is dragging them to a muggle doctor until they get there and suddenly they see a physical picture of their newborn child and hear it’s little heartbeat and it’s better than any magic they’ve ever seen.

the Harry potter fandom demonstrating that beautiful stuff can come from a lack of new material

Give me the lover who yanks open the door
of his house and presses me to the wall
in the dim hallway, and keeps me there until I’m drenched
and shaking, whose kisses arrive by the boatload
and begin their delicious diaspora
through the cities and small towns of my body.

To hell with the saints, with the martyrs
of my childhood meant to instruct me
in the power of endurance and faith,
to hell with the next world and its pallid angels
swooning and sighing like Victorian girls.

I want this world. I want to walk into
the ocean and feel it trying to drag me along
like I’m nothing but a broken bit of scratched glass,
and I want to resist it.

Kim Addonizio, For Desire (via hellanne)

taddle:

kvothe-kingkiller:

deankeptthetrenchcoatintheimpala:

allonsy-sherlock:

popetwitter:

kaalashnikov:

squeakykins:

yzma:

putting milk in the bowl first is divorce worthy

wow excuse you maybe I like to soften the bristles first B(

who the fuck doesn’t wet their tooth brush before putting toothpaste on what the fuck

who the fuck does

i the fuck do

what the fuck man

fuck you

This is how civil wars are started

I don’t wet the toothbrush, does this make me Switzerland?

alwaysri8:

gaybrielandasstiel:

thespooklock:

thespooklock:

so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring

image

i bet

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you guys

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thought

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i was joking

oh dear god

HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TERRORIZE

(Source: onvavoiir)

interretialia:

you-finally-came-home-to-me:

feministbecky:

zonkos-jokeshop:

totally-not-anne-frank:

ugh-trxye:

profeziafenice7547-marty:

I’ve given up trying to correct people.

Honestly mine isnt even hard but people are dumb

Seriously how hard is it to spell Laurel?! It’s literally Lauren with an L

BOTH oh my god just sound it out it’s not that hard people see more than 6 letters in my last name and freak out like it yiddish or something

Yeah my last name isn’t that hard but people still stumble all the time.

Hana is my name and at this point I just go by Hannah

Meum nomen est non “eye-in.” My name is not “eye-in.”

Nilsen not Nielsen, because I’m not frickin Danish!

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